Memories

 

Funny things memories, how they can be squashed and almost forgotten, but always lurking in the background. And then jump out of the shadows when you least expect.

 

Ambushing you, forcing you to listen. To pay attention, when all you want to do is forget.

 

Smell, taste, touch. A feeling in the gut, putting you right back in that moment. Overwhelming,  a physical blow.  Leaving you winded, grasping, frantic. In need. In need of something, anything to hang onto. To keep afloat, to stay, treading water whilst you frantically try to pack it away. Back in its box, almost forgotten but always lurking.

 

Except maybe the time is coming. To unpack it properly. To see it. To give it attention. To process, to accept and to just be.  To acknowledge its part of me.

A dark hurt that has me choking back tears and wanting to wail. Leaving me floundering,  fearing sinking but yet not…

Realising its part of me but not all.

 

For now it can stay, lurking. Too close to the surface for comfort.. Threatening to be overwhelming, but yet the darkness that seems so scary is also still. Almost inviting me in.. To explore, to sit, to feel and accept.  A strange kind of feeling, painful yet necessary. Memories.

 

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton